Hold it, bruh! 

Hey there Sid! Thanks for staring right into my phone while I begin an honorable blog about you. 

I don’t mean the Sid in Ice Age. Nah. I mean my beloved brother, Sidharth. 

How I met him? HAHAHA. Very funny. He came into my house, and then turned the boss baby. Not exactly, but soon enough he became the reason to attract a large number of enthusiastic guests afterward. Well, they sure had a lot of suggestions to handle a tender baby (not exactly..I dont think he’s tender anymore) like him.

I still remember, the day he was named was when I lost my first milk tooth. Yup, my tooth was more of a milestone than his name. LOL? Maybe. Just a random fact, my brother lost his first milk tooth TODAY. Yup, the 30th April, 2017. 

Well, he literally ‘lost’ it. He woke up to a beautiful rebellious morning with me, today.  He woke me up in a very sucky manner, and suddenly realized his shaky tooth was missing. “Great, at least your calcium intake would increase. Duh, you must’ve swallowed it, sweets.” I assured him. My mom suggested the tooth fairy must’ve taken it. Yep, they stuck with it and off he is showing off his missing tooth to everyone.

Back to his name. His spelling is “Sidharth” and I wasn’t quite okay with it. I was so firm in his spelling being “Siddharth”. Yep, I remember, I offered to fill his name for a form and wrote the spelling I preferred on purpose. Why? I don’t know.

My friends completely adore him. They think he’s cute. And I be like “Is it? Didn’t know.” Aah, don’t get me started on that. He knows to grab attention, quite well. Sometimes, I get addressed as Sid’s sister. Well, I’m speechless.

Don’t let the appearance deceive you. Nope, he is as sassy as me. He makes beautiful comebacks, shutting people’s mouth.

Me: *completely pissed* I don’t talk to assholes. 

Sid: ME TOO! 

Me: Well, you’re talking to ME right now.

Sid: Oh great, you ARE an asshole. At last, you accept it.

Me: BYE!

Well, I think that was a pretty good one.

The kind of pranks we play on each other.

*hacks into mom’s phone* Sid: “I. Hate. U. SHASH”

Me:” I. Hate. You. Too. Sid”

Sid: “I. Was. Joking.”

Me:”I. Wasn’t.” 

My brother’s “so- called jokes” don’t have a very good sense of humor. My brother thinks someone peeing in their pants is funny. Nah. It ain’t funny.

He is obsessed with having his fingerprint recorded in my phone. So he can sneak in whenever he wants. So I use that as a trump card whenever I want.

Wait, did you guess his age?? No. He’s not ten. He’s not twelve. He’s frigging SIX years old! Probably the most hilarious chat we’ve ever had:

He likes spacing the letters with a full stop each. So, I decided to follow.😂😂

Describe my brother in three words: Cute. Asshole -ish. Hella smart. Yup, that’s enough describing. Bye.

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If I were in Hogwarts..

“Wake up, you git!” Hermione scolded. I woke up and rubbed my eyes. “You came back into my dorm room again?? Who helped you with the password?” I scolded. “I have my sources. Did you get your essay done or not??” Hermione asked enquiringly. “DUH. Stayed up till 11, and completed it.” I replied sleepily. I am known for procrastinating, but I always get stuff done, no matter what.

“K. Coming with me for breakfast now?” “Yep. Gimme a minute. I’ll change.” 

We thudded down to the Great Hall, muttering about our tight schedule. It had been one year since I’d come into Hogwarts. Me and Hermione were best buddies. We were so alike we made people go,  “DAAAAAYYYUUUUM”. But then, there you go, we weren’t sorted in the same houses. I was a Ravenclaw. She was a Gryffindor. 

I mean, that’s ridiculous. How could she be Gryffindor??? She was practically a nerd (like me)and probably the most smartass person I’d ever met. Maybe, the Sorting Hat had gone bonkers, with so many years of hard work.

“See ya after breakfast!!” I muttered and went off to my table. Bah! I hated this. We could not move over to any other table. Your house, your table. You belonged there. You could possibly move over but, I think you might have to handle a couple of hours of detention with Snape. 

After breakfast, I went up to check on my schedule. Great, what a rotten day. Kicking off with Potions. And what’s worse? With the Slytherins!!! I grabbed my Potions book, a couple of quills, some parchment paper, and my bag of vials and left.

As I stepped out​, I tripped and fell headfirst sending my glasses askew. As I got up and brushed off, I heard Draco Malfoy snickering in the corner. I hated that dude. The fact that he was a Gemini too, infuriated me more than Snape or detention. 

I went into the dungeons and sat myself farthest away from Snape. This was the only class I didn’t prefer sitting in the first few rows. 

Luna Lovegood seated herself next to me. That girl, I’m telling you, is such a jerk. Yeah, she makes it look as the Ravenclaw dorm room is made of nerds, who prefer wearing Radish earrings and reading the Quibbler magazine. Nope, first of all, I didn’t like Radish, leave alone Radish earrings. Second of all, I had a better sense of fashion. Third of all, do you even call the stuff in Quibbler, something rational?? Hummphh, no way! 

Snape came in, swishing his black robes, and straight greasy hair. He sure needs a makeover, if he wants to date Lily. (Wait, I’m not supposed to know that if I’m in my first year of Hogwarts. Well then, who cares, that would ruin my joke. Let’s just assume, it’s the rumors, that’s circulating)

We were gonna make a Sleeping Draught today. Bah! I wouldn’t even need one for Snape’s class, it’s easier with him just drooling on about ingredients and how important it is to measure every freaking ingredient.

So yeah, I was just making the potion and then suddenly he was like “You rotten tomatoes. The essay. I forgot to get them from you. Could you please hand them over?” “Essay? What essay??” I asked Luna, who was swirling her potion dreamily. “Oh. Yeah. That one, the one about Veritaserum and it’s effects.” said Luna softly, picking out her parchment, tenderly to hand over. “Huh?? When did he say about it?” 

“Hmm, looks like Lovegood is having a very interesting conversation with her bench mate. Would you like to share it with us, Ms Lovegood?” “Umm. Yeah, sure. She seems to have a small confusion about the essay.” blurted out Luna. “And what may that confusion be??” asked Snape. 

That was all I could bear…I fled out of the dungeons, sobbing, probably knocking out several vials behind me.

I didn’t know where I was heading, but I just ran up  random stairs and headed down several, until I realized two things. 

a) I was lucky to still not have fallen off a stair, because the stairs were enchanted.

b) I was lost.

The stairs led further up, and the way I’d come, was a cul- de- sac! Well, I looked around to see if the place was familiar. Nope, no resemblance to any prior place I’d been to, in Hogwarts. 

I just went forward, hoping that my last words weren’t “When did he say about it??”. Umm, yeah, I went on, like forever, until a spotted a door mat lying in front of a flat wall. Ok, if I’d been in my senses, I probably wouldn’t have stepped on it. But, you see I was terrified.

I stepped in it and boom! I slid down a deep tunnel and then landed in a room. It had a cabinet. I opened it and found two books. “Break with a Banshee by Gilderoy Lokhart” it had the picture of a man with a huge smiling face handling a Brandon Banshee. The other one was ‘Advanced Potion Making’ by Libatius Borage. I flipped through both books. The book about the Banshee was really boring. However, there was some thing familiar in the other book. There were several notes made alongside the text. But then, there were corrections too. Lots of words had been striked out and replaced with the owner’s handwriting. The owner was, the ‘Half- Blood Prince’. I know, it hardly makes sense, but that’s what it said. 

Sighing deeply, I put the books aside, closed the cabinet and was about to sit down on the floor when a chair appeared. “Oh, great.” I thought to myself and sat down. I opened the Potions book again and found a chapter about Veritaserum. Oh good! I could probably complete my essay, but then, parchment, quills, I’d need that. And anyways, I’d probably get detention for a week with Snape for storming off the class like that. And, I’d never make it out of this room, probably. 

I found a bottle of water, and drank it, thinking of how I got everything I needed. And then, I found a stash of quills and freshly- smelling parchment paper. 

I decided to work on the essay. At least I could get some extra credit for potions maybe, when I die. After a couple of hours, I’d completed my essay. Now, suddenly I felt lonely and felt the urge to go back to my dormroom and get warm and snug. 

Then, something happened. The walls gave way and I found myself in a familiar corridor  in Hogwarts. Oh yeah, I was in the seventh floor corridor. Great, probably I could just sneak into my class. 

I grabbed the two books, my essay and left. I peeked into the dungeon. No Snape. No students. I sneaked in and found the cupboard. I kept the books and left. What a day! Phew!!

This is an imagination of how I’d be, if I were in Hogwarts. And BTW, my perspective is that I place the book in Snape’s cupboard and Harry finds it in his sixth year/ book: Half- Blood Prince. The room is the Room of Requirement, Duh. And the cabinet is the vanishing cabinet.And I know, you’re like you didn’t even use your wand, the whole time!! IDK, I didn’t feel the need to!! 😛

What to learn from Greek mythology…? Also some ‘no- offence’ advise to the Gods..

After reading Percy Jackson with all those wonderful and intriguing prophecies and secretly admiring Athena and her daughter Annabeth, it’s simply hard to resist completely reading the Greek mythology…and there you go! I read Percy Jackson and the Greek gods and DUH being mythology, you are likely to be ridiculed by the story though if you ever manage to meet the twelve Olympians (hopefully not all at once, they would zap you off…you see they don’t like us mortals very much..) these would come in use..or you never know even in you practical life…these gods could just come disguised…either to spy or could be they’re just stunned by your beauty…

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Zeus, King 👑 of Olympus

⚫️ Just don’t chop your dads will ya..?
I mean, I started to get a little grossed out and sick seeing all these gods and titans zapping and chopping themselves. First, Gaia simply just gets pissed off with her hubby Ouranos and orders her son, Kronos to chop him up with the (first ever one, possibly)scythe she made, and there ya go..all chopped up, though his golden blood ichor did give rise to a bajillion other creatures. And sadly, that isn’t the end of it… Zeus decides to get back at his father for gobbling up his siblings(we’ll get back to that later)and there’s another chopped up dad..into a thousand pieces and cast into the deep pits of Tartarus.

– ⚫️ Stop gobbling up your kids, for heaven’s sake! Oh sorry, forgot the queen of heavens is in your belly..🙁
Oh gosh, Kronos, you just can’t keep gobbling up your kids, just because your dad cursed you..I mean, you deserved that..! Vlacas!! (LOL..feeling smug, 😏😏learnt some swear words in Greek…BTW, that means idiot) Well, at least in the end you barfed them out, I’m happy! Though I still think you need some personal hygiene..!

⚫️ Just stop tossing away your kids, just because they’re ugly!
Ugh.. I feel bad for the Cyclopes and the Hundred- handed ones, I mean Ouranos shouldn’t have just tossed them off into Tartarus because they were ugly! They would’ve made you some wonderful weapons..And Hephaestus, certainly, being tossed off Mount Olympus twice, by each parent…for being ugly and for helping your mum…uuughh

⚫️ Zeus, seriously? It’s time to keep track….
OF YOUR WIVES!! Seriously, being head of Olympus, you should be an example…Just, at least keep track of the number of wives you have..and ohh your kids too!

⚫️ Ummm, revenging has limits…
Hera, I completely understand your husband is a jerk, having so many girlfriends, breaking his promise and stuff, though I’d say you shouldn’t be so hard on his girlfriends though, just get a little easy, will ya?

⚫️ It’s best not to get back at the gods..!
Seriously, I mean it, anyone of the gods…they could just zap you off if they wanted to. And.. you know, these gods do tend to hold grudges a LITTLE too much..

⚫️Don’t get on the bad side of your grandmother
I mean, who wouldn’t get pissed off when you just chop off her favourite sons and throw them off into Tartarus..she would obviously avenge their “chopping” by sending giants and stuff, though you know, she should rest, after all, it’s just her grandsons and great- grandsons ruling, isn’t it?

 

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Ahh, I love Fan art….and btw, if I were a demigod I’d be child of apollo!!

⚫️We are never ever ever…
Doing a bad dress up! (I would put it this way, if I were Taylor Swift..LOL) Yes, the next fancy dress competition, if they tell you to dress up as Greek god say NO. (Like Meghan Trainor..oh gosh, lots of pop stars popping up…LMAO..SO MANY PUNS)
Yeah, the gods wouldn’t consider it an honour and  think Mortals have cute shrieks when they step on them, which I think is GROSS! You wouldn’t want to end up like that dude Salmoneus..he thought the people should honour kings first rather than gods, so he decided to trick them, he did a very LAME dress up as Zeus and went out and well, you guessed it! A jagged lightning split the sky and yeah, POOF!

⚫️You are never better at doing anything than the gods!
You never know, you could be,but you know, just stay grounded, all of us know Gods have egos bigger than mount Olympus, you don’t want turned into a spider or having your skin flayed, do you? You don’t want to end up like Arachne, a cutesy spider or like that satyr dude Marsyas, having been flayed alive..hmm you just end up with a sad ending just because you dared to make music as good as Apollo or weave as skilled as Athena..

⚫️ You won’t be needing any patrons..
Yeah, if you have two gods wanting to patronise your city, well, just don’t say no to both, they would combine to get your city to ashes, maybe, you should just run away, because that city and the people are GONERS. Yes, like the city Attica or Athens. Athena and Poseidon compete, Athen being wiser wins, she gave them olive trees and they loved it, and renamed the city Athens in honour of their patron. But hey! What about Poseidon? He gave them horses and they went for olives, obviously, though he destroyed the lower part of the city with a flood.

⚫️ Just stay away from Ares
I bet you’re like “DUH!” IF you knew his identity! Oh oh, it’s the god of war! I guessed you figured the rest, he is obviously mercilessly ,rudely, warly ,cunningly and perhaps accidentally ,godly. Yeah, he’s immortal and YOU’RE NOT!

⚫️Don’t watch any god turn to their real form
You’d DISINTEGRATE. Though, not likely you’d meet one tomorrow, just saying!

⚫️Fire, we’re lucky!
We struck two stones and then fire appeared, didn’t it? Well, sadly Prometheus doesn’t think so…he gave it to us, though Zeus forbid him to..! So currently he’s been chained to a rock and has a re-forming liver which would re- form everyday for an eagle to tear and eat..! Hmmm…GROSS

⚫️Gods don’t like human meat (though Zeus didn’t mind gobbling up his pregnant wife)
Yes, no messing around!! No cannibalism with the gods, duh! They’re gonna leave you with a curse for eternal hunger and thirst beneath a tree with delicious apples…like that dude, Tantalus. Well, you see he didn’t like his son very much, so he chopped him up for dinner, and the gods weren’t pleased, especially after resting a while in their dad’s belly!

⚫️Don’t escape death..
Yeah, don’t you think you can knock out death (actually, Thanatos, Hades’ lieutenant showed up.) and stuff him under the bed. Well, this dude, Sisyphus didn’t stop with only getting away once. After he got escorted to the Underworld after Ares rescued Thanatos as none would die in war, Sisyphus lied again and got away from Hades, and at last, Hermes, dragging him back to the Underworld, he got his punishment. He had to push this rich to the top of a hill, but the problem was, it kept rolling back again, ummmmm practically it was impossible. Nah, he couldn’t stop either, the Furies would keep checking on him.
Ugggh, that was sure, some super- GROSS and hopefully some useful learning about Greek mythology, and yeah just don’t try these stuff out…